MELBOURNE WEEK OF WELCOME

All right guys… I’M BACK!! Sorry for the interlude (a.k.a Melbourne Welcome). I did not have access to Wifi nor the time or energy to fix it. For those of you who don’t know, Melbourne University hosts a welcome program for incoming exchange and study abroad students. It’s four days of meeting people from around the world, seeing Melbourne exposed from varying heights, consuming an abundance of packed lunches and ultimately, the best way to discover Melbourne pubs.
Since sleep is a boring thing to schedule time for, I managed to find little of it. As a result, there would simply be too much to tell you about if I tried to recall everything from the past four days. However, I did keep a written journal and will pull snippets from that just to give you a small peephole into the world of Melbourne Welcome.

DAY 4—Arrival, Lunch & City Scavenger Hunt

“The first thing I did after arriving at Trinity College was pee. This many not sound that exciting, but when I went to wash my hands, I met a girl at the sink from Manchester. She asked me if I wanted to grab coffee before lunch, I said sure, and like that I was trekking off across Melbourne Uni’s campus in search of coffee. We found it in the campus's main hub of café’s and restaurants. 3 AUD for a small cappuccino. Anyway, I sipped my coffee and gained some insight into the life of an English Chemical Engineer. Apparently, in England, you don’t get much of a choice of what to study, shoes are called trainers, netball is an odd form of women’s basketball and you can either go straight into the workforce at 16 or go to college. Most go to college.”

My dorm for the four days at Trinity College.

 “I walked in to find a lunch of fish & chips, a seemingly universal food. After a few exchanges with the students around me, we noticed all of the hosts lining the stage. We watched, horrified, as our welcome group did the goofiest dance I’ve ever seen. As they flailed about to the song "Brokenhearted" (Karmin), I wondered if Australians knew the meaning of coordination. I looked around and could tell people didn’t know whether to laugh or hide their faces in embarrassment for the people on stage. The next thing I know, we’re routed outside and made to do the same thing.
Something tells me I should have seen that coming…”

 “We had to do a Scavenger Hunt and got to ride the trams for the first time. They require a metcard—something you slide in the ticket reader and it comes out with the date stamped on. Now, side note about trams. When crossing the crosswalk you have to push the button and wait for the light and accompanying noise to tell you to go. However, instead of looking left for cars, you have to look RIGHT since cars drive on the other side of the road. (I’m still getting used to that.) Even if you have right of way, TRAMS DO NOT APPLY. If a tram is hurling across the crosswalk, they will not stop for you. You have to wait until they pass. Now, you must imagine what a foreign concept this is for me as a native Chapel Hillian. Can you imagine stepping out in front of a UNC bus hurdling toward you as you crossed while knowing it wasn’t going to stop? Psssht, I know students who do it on purpose because getting hit by a school bus means free tuition. But I guess there’s a difference between buses and trams. But apparently trams here are like rhinos on skateboards. At least, that’s what the Australian caution signs say…”

“My group consisted of our fearless leader Alex, a native Australian who is pretty much a clown, except funny. He forgot all of his paperwork and has to be constantly reminded of what it is we’re supposed to be doing. But I kind of liked it that way. Then there is Janhenk (pronounced YAN-KIN) from Holland, who everyone calls Jan because they don’t know what the heck his name is either. He’s Dutch and carries his own silver flask around with his name engraved on it (the only reason I know how to spell it is because he kept flashing it at anyone in his general direction.) Then there is Gemma, who’s Scottish. She is reserved, with a keen sense of humor that can only be detected by a small smirk so akin to my own. There's Josh, who’s from New York and is pretty easy going. Pat from Philadelphia, who displays the typical American bravado and good natured pursuit of partying. Nick, who’s from England and finds everyone else’s quirks funny. Julie who’s from France, but lives in Canada and mostly her own world. Julietta, a girl from Minnesota who is nice but acts clueless. And finally, Elise from New Orleans, who swears they get a week off at Tulane University simply to celebrate Madi Gras. Why aren’t we living there, again?”

“Part of the scavenger hunt was to dance as a group in the middle of Federation Square on a stage in front of complete strangers. Melbourne got a laugh today. But hey, it was fun. Plus, everyone’s now jealous of my moves. Most of the day was spent taking pictures with random shoppers because each one was 10 points, including the Asian woman behind the store counter. We also had Pat propose to a random woman on the tram. After hyperventilating and our cajoling, he kneeled down in front of her. She said no. I don’t think he took it too hard.”

“I guess as I get more tired, it’s like getting drunk. My barriers fall, my speech slurs. Everything slows down and doesn’t make as much sense. Or does it make sense? Maybe it makes more sense. I just know that as I walked away from a room full of people my age getting ready to hed to a pub, I looked up at the night sky and felt so blessed. I’m here. We’ve made it. God is good. I’m just amazed, really. At Australia, at Melbourne, at the world. At the fact that I’m standing in a place once deemed impossible to get to. A place that seemed unreachable and foreign yet, I get here, and it’s so familiar. I like Australia. I like it a lot.”

DAY 5— Wine tasting at Yarra Valley, Healesville Sanctuary, Pub Crawl


Wine tasting at Rochford Winery.

Winery in Yarra Valley.

“We arrived at the vineyard and tasted four wines, two white and two red. They were all good with varying tastes ranging from fruity to oak finishes. I’m not a wine connoisseur, not even close. I can swirl it, sniff it, even gargle it if you like, and I still have no idea how they expect me to detect all of those different tastes in one glass. Why no, it doesn’t taste like a tree. Why yes, it does smell a little fruity, just like yourself. On the other hand, the fudge was delicious! Maybe I’ll become a chocolate connoisseur. Nah, there’s no point. Everyone knows dark chocolate wins every time…”

“The valley behind the second winery was stunning. I mean absolutely breathtaking. It was like the sun lit every ripple of the water and land and only knew shadow where mountains were born. I was ashamed to take a picture because such a view at such a place and time could NEVER be captured. It just exists, willing people to cast their eyes on it, unaffected if we don’t.”

“We were on our way to Healseville Sanctuary where animals live in their natural habitats. There are no enclosures, only waist high fences that keep visitors out, not animals in. I saw koalas, dingo, kangaroos, a platypus and Tasmanian devils.”

“ I walked along the wooden pathway rimmed with two fences that were no higher than my elbows. I looked hard but didn’t see anything and then BAM, an emu was staring me in the face and I do mean in the face. The thing was tall enough to peck me in the nose if it wanted to. They make the oddest noises, kind of a grunt. I definitely wouldn’t want to be around one when it was hungry.”

“Everyone ooohs and aaahhs trying to stand in the same exact spot to get the most picturesque shot of whatever furry animal is displaying its backside. This time it was the koalas. Everyone stared at the little guy who had wedged himself into a sleeping position between two branches within arm reach. He wouldn’t wake up. The Australian zookeeper explained that no, in fact, the koalas were not stoned nor hung over, but were simply sleeping off their last eucalyptus meal. Apparently, eucalyptus is used to make cyanide, so it’s a wonder they can digest it at all. Since it makes up their primary diet, they don’t have much energy; thus, the sleeping. What I didn’t know is that the acid in the leaves slowly eats away the teeth of the koala. (Don't laugh at the pun; this is serious.) So the koalas can only live eight to 12 years because the teeth become so worn down that they die from starvation. Bet you didn’t know koalas were so depressing, huh? And you just thought they were cute and cuddly.”

Kids handling  a python.

“The Australian kids were fearless. They breed them brave here. When the zoo keeper asked for volunteers to pet the poisonous reptiles, every kid ranging from three to 15 raised their hands. As all of the creatures were brought around to handle, hands dropped on them from every direction whacking the snake on the head, grabbing its tail, rubbing its scales—it’s like being bitten would’ve been an honor. I honestly was scared for the snake.”

“I want a Tasmanian Devil. Oh, and I saw a woman walking a dingo. It was awesome.”

Kangaroo-face

“The kangaroos… well, the only way I can describe them is the movie “Kangaroo Jack.” The looks on their faces make you wonder if you’ve really came to view them, or if it’s the opposite way around. One actually had its arms crossed.”

“After some thought on the matter, I joined everyone else on the pub crawl. An adventure where our hosts showed us three of the best scenes for Melbourne night life. Let the first lesson begin: Alcohol is insanely expensive in Australia. Enough so, that people must pre-game with loads of cheap wine before they can even stomach heading out to the nearest pub. That being said, once you get there, there are loads of interesting people who all of a sudden find it not weird at all to tell you the first thing that came to mind or anything else, mind you. By Bar 1, the Americans were lit. I honestly heard someone from Holland say, “I heard stereotypes about Americans coming in and knew they probably weren’t true so I didn’t want to expect it. But after getting here, I can see all of it is true.” When you look over and see them throwing back a whole pitcher of beer, arms wrapped around each other yelling “Chug, chug, chug!”, you can’t disagree. By the second pub, I was being questioned about my lack of alcohol. (I’d had my caffeine dose for the night and was set. If you’ve seen what chocolate covered coffee beans do to me, you understand.) Surprisingly, pubs are great places to discuss life choices. I actually had some pretty insightful conversations with people. Whether they will be remembered or not is besides the point.”

DAY 6—Queen Victoria Market, Australian Footy Clinic, Aussie Film

“The market was bigger than expected, kind of like a huge flea market in N.C., but more enclosed. I guess the greatest thing about the place is that it’s pretty much the only place you can bargain. I got together with a few friends and managed to get a man to sell us Australian flags for 5 AUD instead of 7. Now, I’m not sure what to do with the thing once the costume party is over. Wall decoration it is.”

“Got in the tram and ended up at the North Melbourne Kangaroo facility and practice field. We had entered the world of Australian football. (A.k.a. Footy.) Australian football is so big in Melbourne that they not only have one team, but 10. The AFL (Australian Football League) has a number of differences from the NFL, but we’ll get to those later. We walked in to meet two of the players. Our hosts were freaking out over seeing the guys up close, much less meeting them, while the rest of us were wondering, “Who are the bulky guys and why are their shorts so small?” They were huge and well-toned. They showed us a clip to introduce us to the sport. I’m sorry guys, but it looks even MORE intense than rugby, if only because it’s more free flow. With rugby, there are so many stops with all of the rucks, but in AFL, if they can’t get past you, they jump over your back. It’s ridiculous how high these guys can get to catch a ball.”

“They taught us to pass, kick and bounce a ball. Now, passing is a bit quirky. You don’t throw it forward (football) or backward (rugby) but rather punch it with your fist. This seems like a fine Australian concept. You aim the ball, which has a lined grip just like an American football but with a slicker surface, at your receiver. Then you step forward and bring your fist into the ball at the end where the four seems meet. The best way I can describe it is like an underhanded volleyball serve, only more aggressive.”

“Kicking is explanatory. Just adapt your foot to the ball, drop and kick. Pretty solid, eh?”

“I asked if there was a women’s league and the player wrinkled his nose. “Well, there is one out there but women are not as athletic as men so they do not get as much attention or get paid as much as we do.” The guy was pretty big; I decided to leave it at that.”

“Watched "Two Hands" with Heath Ledger in it. I never knew he was quite so big here, but I guess it makes sense. I thought the movie was hilarious. Australian humor is ironic. I love it. I think I’ll fit in nicely here.”

DAY 7—Laneways, Eureka Tower, National Sports Museum, Formal Dinner

“We explored a place called the Laneways where streets are lined with unassuming doorways that, when opened, lead to tons upon tons of shops in elaborately designed building corridors. It never ends. I’m convinced someone could live in Melbourne their whole lives and never visit all of the stores Melbourne has to offer.”

Melbourne grafitti

“After winding our way through shops, cafes and boutiques, we were spouted out into what looked like alleyways when BAM! Heath Ledger’s giant distorted face was staring down at us. It was a graffiti joker from the Dark Knight (which I’m super excited for the new movie, btw, even though we’ll get it days after it’s already been out in the U.S…. man, I never realized how spoiled we are.) Amazed at such talent, our group continued further down the alleyway. It was covered with layer upon layer of painted stories. Small windows into the lives of many. It was amazing, truly. Graffiti may get a bad wrap, but minus property damages, it is a freedom of expression and express they did. Honestly, street art is, after all, art, and art requires talent. I was impressed.”

Eureka Tower

“We went up to Eureka Tower, the tallest skyscraper in the southern hemisphere, which consequently has the best view of the surrounding city. We rode an elevator for 88 floors up while one guy thought it would be fun to jump and proceeded to do so. Nothing happened. Looking out, it was humbling to see the maze you’ve been running around in, map in hand, splayed out before you with simple straight routes to follow. It’s like, all of a sudden, the city makes sense--from where it’s located to your place in it. It was a sight well worth seeing.”

“Australia may not be the first in anything but they’ve got top qualifiers in EVERYTHING. I’m not sure if there is a sport they don’t play. The coolest thing about the whole sports museum were the holograms. You walk into this dark room and pull the curtains back to reveal cushioned seats and a glass box, encased in which are real objects. Sport equipment in this case (ha). Anyway, in the midst of these objects is a real person. An Australian footy player walking around telling you about his experience. I swear he looks like he’s right in front of you, interacting with objects, opening lockers, picking up balls, throwing and catching them. But he’s a hologram as well as the ball. It blew my mind at how good the projections were.”

“At the dinner, we found out our team won the scavenger’s hunt. No one was more surprised than we were. I think we were all banking on last place since we barely finished the requirements. But hey, team bonding.”

So, there you have it. (Assuming anyone made it through that post.) I do apologize for the length, though I swear it has been condensed several times and I only used inserts instead of full length journal entries. Melbourne Week of Welcome was a great experience. I met a lot of awesome people from all over the globe. If you ever have the chance, I would totally reccommend it. Because at the end of the day, having a few familiar faces around a city you're coming to love can't hurt.

Update: I have successfully made it to and from Trinity College and I'm now living in my permanent residence for the next 6 months. I still haven’t unpacked. I’m sure when that happens, it will be official.

Hope all is well wherever you guys are! Until next time.
-J.
(Please! Leave any questions/comments below. I will be happy to answer.)